Won’t be posting for a month and a half. Going on vacation. :)
Bye lovely followers. I hope you feel better and for those suffering with disorders or other mental issues, I hope you get closer to recovery. Take care of yourselves. xo
She was a very troubled girl.
DESTROY WHAT DESTROYS YOU
Things are quite good now!
I’m in a good state of mind and whenever I consider having sweets or savoury food my mind will say “sweets will make you feel better” and I tell it “I don’t want to use food to try alter my mood”. And I don’t, I choose the savoury version and I don’t think about how the food makes me feel. I can think about how I feel but I don’t blame the food for it :p
Also, 220 days binge free! What a perfect way to celebrate it - by healthy eating. :)
for some reason i have this unrealistic expectation that sometime in the future i will be really attractive and desirable and fun to be around and successful
(via meatless)
Staying up all night to complete assessments. Which makes me fatter because I need energy to stay awake. -.- I can’t wait for holidays.
Also. I did a clinical psychology test (DASS) and turns out I have extremely severe depression and stress and severe anxiety. Yay, I’m fucked.
I hate my life. I hate myself. I’m so fat. Tonight I ate some pizza and chocolate and had some alcohol to try ease the pain. But why do I bother? Nothing works. I’m always hopeful that something will help but nothing changes. I’m just fucked. I’m so sad all the time and now I’m worse because I have eight assessments due next week - some essays and some exams. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I hate myself. I hate my life. Everything hurts. :(
Got my doctor to refer me to another psychologist.
The entire time I just wanted to shout out “Just put me on meds again! I was stupid to stop taking them. I want them back! I want something that’ll fix this and take away my pain and sadness! I don’t want to waste anymore time on psychologists! They can’t fix me!” but I stayed silent because I don’t know if I’m that depressed.
“Break only in the case of an emergency”.
I did this because 1. I’m sick of mostly eating junk food and looking fat. and 2. I find it clever and funny, haha. (because you break the rows and squares when you’re eating it)
Anonymous asked:
Is your sister still not eating? Does she have an eating disorder?
I’m not a doctor so I personally can’t say. She saw a doctor a few weeks back and she was underweight but she wasn’t told to see a psychologist so I’m assuming the doctor doesn’t think she has an eating disorder. As for what I see her eating, she doesn’t eat much - like a child almost, and it tends to be unhealthy food. She looks very thin too, not scary thin, but thin. When I spoke to her a few weeks ago she admitted that she was a bit scared of eating savoury meals again in case her body didn’t know how to deal with it and as a result she gains a lot of weight. I acted normal-ish but it is worrying. In saying that, she doesn’t let me in enough and I don’t have any qualifications so I’m just going to focus on fixing my own eating.
